Why Good Dating Profile Photos Matter More Than You Think

If you’re using dating apps, your photos are doing a lot of the talking before anyone ever reads your bio. That may sound superficial, but it’s simply how dating apps work. People make quick decisions based on what they see first. And when your photos are outdated, poorly lit, heavily filtered, cropped from group pictures, or taken from an unfavorable angle, they may not be showing you at your best at all!

• The man holding a fish or dead deer by its antlers.
• The gym/bathroom mirror selfie.
• The sunglasses-in-every-photo/car selfie guy.
• The cigarette photo that was probably supposed to look cool.
• The picture with three children or a woman, or a group of people and absolutely no explanation about who they are.
• Random plate of food, landscape photo, dog/cat picture or a group photo where one can't pinpoint who the main person is.
• "Duck" lips, almost naked, all pictures lying in bed, flipping off someone, and the angle from below the belly button.
• And, of course, the photograph that's clearly ten years old.

There's nothing inherently wrong with fishing, hunting, working out, having children, friends or even smoking if that's genuinely part of your life. But your dating profile photographs are communicating something before anyone ever reads a word you've written.

And sometimes what you're trying to communicate isn't what the person looking at your profile actually sees.

About That Fish/Deer Photo...

The infamous fish photo has practically become its own dating-app category. Interestingly, women don't universally hate it. One survey of more than 1,000 women found that 54% preferred men's profiles without fish pictures - but 46% actually found men holding fish more attractive.

So the fish itself isn't necessarily the problem.

When women discuss these photos online, one of the recurring complaints is that they've simply seen them too many times. In one women's discussion about dating profiles, a commenter explained that the problem wasn't necessarily one fish photo - it was profiles filled with similar photographs that didn't reveal much else about the person. Another woman said the image wasn't an automatic rejection, but because she wasn't interested in fishing herself, it didn't make a particularly good first impression.

That's actually useful information.

The Gym Selfie

Being fit can absolutely be part of your profile. But there's a difference between showing an active lifestyle and photographing yourself flexing in a gym mirror. In discussions among women using dating apps, repeated gym selfies and shirtless mirror photos frequently come up as profile turnoffs. If fitness is important to you, there are better ways to show it.

Running. Cycling. Hiking. Playing tennis. Walking your dog. Actually doing something tells a story. Standing in front of a bathroom mirror holding your phone mostly tells us that you went to the gym that day.

The Smoking Photo

This one is a little different. For many people, smoking isn't simply a photography preference. It's a compatibility issue. Women discussing dating profiles regularly identify smoking as an immediate dealbreaker. If you're a smoker, honesty matters. Eventually someone you're dating is going to know. (Also, read your interest's profile: if she said "no smokers", don't swipe on it when your profile has images of your smoking).

But if you only occasionally smoke a cigar or happened to be holding a cigarette at a party, ask yourself whether that's really the first piece of information you want your photograph to communicate. You don't have very many pictures on a dating profile. Every one is valuable real estate.

What About Photos With Your Children?

This is where I think people should be particularly thoughtful. Having children is important information when you're dating. But saying that you're a parent and displaying your children's faces on a public dating profile are two different decisions. There's also a practical problem. Sometimes the viewer doesn't even know whose children they are. Your kids? Your grandchildren? Your niece and nephew? Children from the soccer team you coach? You can absolutely communicate that being a father is an important part of your life without making your children dating-profile content. Sometimes a sentence does that job better than a photograph.

Your Photos Should Start a Conversation

This is really what good dating profile photography comes down to. They should give someone little openings into your life. Maybe you're walking through downtown Troy. Maybe you're sitting outside a café. Maybe you're dressed up for an evening out. Maybe you're with your dog. Maybe you're cooking, playing music, working on your motorcycle or doing something you genuinely enjoy. The goal isn't to manufacture a personality for a dating app. It's to photograph the personality that's already there.

Professional Dating Photos Shouldn't Look Too Professional

This is also where people get nervous about hiring a photographer. They imagine studio lights, crossed arms and a photograph that looks like it belongs on LinkedIn. Your dating photographs should feel like someone happened to catch you looking particularly good while you were living your life. Professional lighting and posing can happen behind the scenes. The finished photograph should still feel relaxed.

You Still Need to Look Like Yourself

There's another mistake that's probably worse than the fish. Using photographs that no longer look like you. Photos from eight years ago. Fifty pounds ago. Before the gray hair. Before the beard. Before whatever version of life you're in today. Good photography isn't about pretending you're younger, thinner or different. It's about photographing who you are now in the most flattering and authentic way possible. It's about trust

Attraction may get someone's attention. Trust is what makes them want to meet you.

You Don't Have to Be Photogenic

Probably the most common thing people tell photographers is: “I hate having my picture taken.” That's fine. You don't need to know how to pose. You don't need to know where to put your hands. You don't need to know which side of your face photographs better.

That's my job.

A dating profile photography session with Studio Lana is designed to create several different looks - natural portraits, full-length photographs, casual images and lifestyle photographs - so you walk away with a collection rather than one “professional picture.” Because the goal isn't one great photograph. It's a profile that makes someone curious about the person in it.

If your current profile is a combination of selfies, old vacation pictures, cropped group photos and yes - possibly a fish - it may be time for an update.

Dating Profile Photography sessions are available with Studio Lana throughout Albany, Troy, Saratoga Springs and New York's Capital Region. Come as yourself. I'll take care of the photographs.